Is this thing on?

Etiquetas: fall, scooters, vacation

( | ) 21:04 o arouser do pintainho2000

That's right, baby! Rotica is actually coming out on Christmas, not some dinky day in the middle of October. What were we thinking? Why bother with crummy October anyway? What happens in October? NOTHING. Other than Hallowe'en, which we--

Anyways, Rotica number three is due out for Christmas. And we're not only going to have a fully printed issue, but also a PODCAST. Yeah buoys. All the Rotica contributors together, in an appropriately-lit studio, recording the sounds we're making for about half an hour or an hour, depending. All for you to consume with standard audio equipment.

This Christmas.

( | ) 07:07 martin2000

Rotica  number three, that's right you heard me is due for a run on the presses on October twentieth, two thousand and eight. Prep your eyes and other organs, because this defiant senior issue is not about to let age and infirmity slow down its profoundly pulsating impulse!

( | ) 03:55 martin2000

I was in the barn the other day,
slaughtering children for veal,
arms drenched in sticky glops of red,
when the sun broke through a cotton cloud,
lasering its broad, blinding warmth
past the floating white's wild edges,
through my new energy-efficient barn windows
to dry the blood on my raised arms
to a stiff, cracking paint.
I tossed away the tiny, fat leg
I was holding, kicked some
moaning infants aside, and
ran out into the golden fields
to bask in the glory of God.

( | ) 17:25 o arouser do pintainho2000

This top video is recommended by Inforotica.

Etiquetas: cat, top video

( | ) 20:20 martin2000

Julian shat on Betty's head. So she took the brown lump and mashed it into Julian's right eye. This gave him an eye infection, so he had to go buy an eyepatch. The eyepatch he bought was Gucci, so it said Gucci in big letters where his eye used to peer.

One day, an old man walking by Julian tried to read the word on the young lad's eyepatch and accidentally fell into the gutter. By doing so, his face hit the concrete where some poop had been, and it got lodged in his eye. So he had to buy an eyepatch, too. But he bought a generic one because he blamed brand-name eyepatches for his unfortunate accident.

Thankfully, our story ends happily because a hot old lady named Trudy thought eyepatches were hot and totally put out for the old man. She did anal and everything. She was also Betty's mum. Coincidence? I'll let you decide...

( | ) 20:54 o arouser do pintainho2000

Donated sperm when I was young
It's only sperm, I had tons
Needed some cash, and I was brash
I loved the thought of all my sons
Runnin' around in Thunder Bay
Divin' into Kawartha Lake
Seein’ all these places that I've never been
Is that really a sin?

I'm a sperm donor, baby
Got some kiddies somewhere
I've procreated lots, but I've got no heirs
I'm a sperm donor, baby
Won't you cut me some slack
You better not be my daughter
I am prone to heart attacks

Now I'm older, and I want me a wife
But I've stayed away from lyin' my whole life
Why do these chicks prefer to date these dicks
Cuz when I tell 'em the truth, it's just strife
Datin' single mothers, but they don't understand
Datin' minorities, now talk to the hand
Gettin' so desperate, I might date a dude
Goddamn, that's pretty rude

When I see a young person
And they got eyes like me
Or maybe a nose as peculiar as mine
Is that my kid?
Oh, is that my kid??

I wonder if my boys will grow up
To be sperm donors, too

Yes, I'm a sperm donor, baby
Got some kiddies somewhere
I've procreated lots, but I've got no heirs
I'm a sperm donor, baby
And I got no regrets
Your spermless brother Benny’s wife could be in my debt
I’m a sperm donor, baby
Did my jollies in a cup
Did it with such care, never spilled a precious drop
I’m a sperm donor, baby
Won't you cut me some slack
You better not be my daughter
You better not be my daughter
I really hope you’re not my daughter
I am prone to heart attacks

SPOKEN:
You’re not one of them
Artificial insemination-type folks, are you?
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
All my kids are!
And I bet they’re really nice.
I bet they wouldn’t be prejudiced against a sperm donor.
Oh gosh.

( | ) 17:56 o arouser do pintainho2000