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Home To arouse and instruct Para stimular e instructar
Rotica 1: 1st Issue For Admiring Online
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Virile feline
Show them that you are a tiger.
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Show them what you can do. The taste of Tony's Frosted Flakes Brings out the tiger in you! Show them that you are a tiger. Show them what you can do. The taste of Tony's Frosted Flaaakes Brings out the tiger in you (and you)! Kneel!
Once there was a girl named Jan, who had a penis growing out of her knee. Understandably, she really hated kneeling.
But one day, God came to her. "Kneel before thy Lord!" he boomed from beneath his gigantic bushy beard. So she kneeled on the one, dickless knee, and splayed the other leg kind of to the side, trying to make the procedure as comfortable as possible. "No, kneel properly, my child! Kneel!" She tried to swing her errant leg in, but God was so attractive (naturally, as a perfect being), that her knee-dick was all boned up, so she couldn't. "I can't!" she said. "That's it, you're going to hell," God said, and vanished with a poof. So, knowing that she was condemned to hell, she lived a debaucherous life from then on. She shoplifted, didn't reply to email promptly, and pimped out young Asian children. The end. (1) comments The Non-Desperate Housewives
I'm the kind of girl who likes
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to smell scented candles I'm the kind of girl who likes to clean the floor (with Lysol!) I'm the kind of girl who likes to buy a wicker basket Household items are the things that I adore... (that I adore!) I also like to go next door and visit Mary-Janey She's got a quirky attitude that I find neat (neat-o!) She doesn't always shave her legs but she is still a beauty She's found a way to stay happy that's so discreet... (that's so discreet!) Percocet Valium Vicodan Aspartame Phar-maceu-ticals... Cortizone Anusol Polydent Heroin Get me close to God! Spoken word: I SEE MOUNTAINS OF TOOTHPASTE AND CURTAINS OF FLOSS I'M RIDING A PONY WITH A SLENDER NECK AND I HAVE STREAMERS IN MY HAIR (praise!) AND I FEEL GOOD. Propecia Ativan Darvocet Imovane Phar-maceu-ticals Acutane Klonopin Insulin Crack cocaine Get me close to God! Get ME close to GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! Dime Front
I could never be a loverman
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Cuz I got a tiny two-inch penis But I will try to do whatever I can When I put it in your big vagina Two-inch dick, it's a two-inch dick! Cuz I will, cuz I will Cuz I will fuck you With my two-, with my two- With my two-inch penis And when we do it I will fondle your boobs Because I use this method you'll get some pleasure too And when we do it I will fondle your boobs Because I use this method you'll get some pleasure too Two-inch dick Two-inch dick I could never be a pornoman Cuz I got a tiny two-inch penis But I can tell you mama, I got a plan We can make our own X-rated movies Two-inch dick, with his two-inch dick! Two-inch dick, with his two-inch dick! Cuz I will, cuz I will Cuz I will fuck you With my two-, with my two- With my two-inch penis And when we do it I will film every splooge You can watch it later, and then masturbate, too And when we do it I will film every splooge You can watch it later, and then masturbate, too Two-inch dick Two-inch dick Spoken word: It's small, yes And if you don't like it Then that's your problem Like a Tiger
Oh yeah, we're so cool
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We're so friggin' cool Oh yeah, we're so cool We're so friggin' cool Oh yeah Oh yeah, we're so cool We're so friggin' cool Oh yeah, we're so cool We're so friggin' cool Oh yeah, we're so cool (so cool) We're so friggin' cool (so co-oo-ol) Oh yeah, we're so cool (so cool) We're so friggin' cool (so co-oo-ol) Yeeeaaaaaaahhhhh! We're agile like a tiger We're agile like a tiger We're agile like a tiger We're agile like a tiger Yeeeeeeah Oh yeah, we're so cool (so cool) We're so friggin' cool (so co-oo-ol) Oh yeah, we're so cool (so cool) We're so friggin' cool (so co-oo-ol) Yeeeaaaaaaahhhhh! We're agile like a tiger We're agile like a tiger We're agile like a tiger (OOOH...OOOH...) We're agile like a tiger (OOOH...OOOH...) We're agile like a tiger (OOOH...OOOH...) We're agile like a tiger (OOOH...OWWWWWWWW!!!) New Wave Chronic
Your pot neutered us!
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It made us sexless! That pot had to be From the Caspian sea... To take away the heat we feel when we meet! To take away the heat we feel when we meet! We smoked from a bong And now we feel so wrong We feel like we have no 'nads And that makes us feel so sad! To have no testicles to grab and hold and touch! To have no testicles to grab and hold and touch! Breakdown: WE WON'T! Buy your pot anymore... We won't Buy his pot anymore... We don't! Buy his pot anymore... We won't Buy your pot anymore... NOPE!!!! (Fighter jet noises) We forgot if we're Hetero or really queer Or maybe intersexed If so, then I am vexed! We also forgot if we liked girls or boys! We also learned that tranny life is full of joys! (Breakdown) Slutty! The Ballad of John Cougar Mellencamp & R. Kelly
Now John Mellencamp, once Johnny Cougar
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Get a life, your music sounds like a booger! The first time I saw you was on Pop-Up Video Mom thought you were okay, but I thought you were shitty-o! And Caroline thought you were blind! She only learned diff'rent with the passage of time! CAR-O-LINE! TI-I-I-ME! Blind! That singer R. Kelly likes underage girls I heard he peed on them, and that made me hurl! "Trapped in the Closet" was an urban o-per-a With singles like that, no wonder he's popular! And Eleanor thought he was blind! She only learned diff'rent with the passage of time! EL-EA-NO-OR! TI-I-I-ME! Blind! Doo doo doo Doo doo, doo-doo doo doo-doo doo-doo Doo doo doo Doo doo, doo-doo doo doo-doo doo-doo Dooooot! Dooooot! Dooooot! Doooooot! Doooooot! But Dan never thought they were blind! He never relied on the passage of time! DA-A-A-AN! TI-I-I-IME! Wise! Cat Me If You Can
Let's put this cat in a bucket
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They look so cute in a bucket Let's put this cat in a bucket If you don't want to, just say "fuck it" Let's put a cat in a watering can They look really sexy in a watering can Let's put a cat in a watering can Try to look away, if you can! Chorus: Cats in things they're not supposed to be are amazing If you don't agree with us we'll give you a fucking hazing OOH, OOH-OOH Let's put cats on a silver platter they look wicked awesome, even fatter Let's put some cats on a platter Silver or plastic -- it don't matter! (Chorus) When I look at that cat In a bucket or a hat I go crazy... ...BABY!!! (Chorus x 2) OOH, OOH-OOH x 3 Whisper: Cats in things they're not supposed to be are amazing. Not a Wiener
I wrote a letter to you
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It said some things that weren't nice Oh I compared you to poo I really hope you don't mind But when you called me that name It really hurt me quite deep Oh I admire you, you know But take it back Cuz you know I'm not a wiener Wieners are so uncool I used to beat up all the wieners I'm not a wiener I'm not a wiener I'm pretty cool There were days when I was awkward, yeah But those days are long ago Now I'm married and I have two kids So don't make me beat you up Cuz you know I'm not a wiener Wieners are so uncool I used to beat up all the wieners I'm not a wiener I'm not a wiener Don't call me wiener It makes me angry I'll punch your face I'll take your wallet I'm very cool unstoppable
The beautiful and Agile ladiez and I just can't stop writing songs! We're a fountain of surefire pop hits. They're coming so quickly, we haven't been able to record demos for them all yet, let alone more polished recordings. I'm gonna post some more lyrics here.
Of course, lyrics alone give only a glimpse of the full song, but we have to make do for now. Just like poor people do. (0) comments long awaited III (2) commentsSatan's Loins lyrics
At the Concert
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By Satan's Loins I'm at the concert Dressed to the nines Oh, there's my girl! She looks so fine Yoo hoo! Yoo hoo! My name is Jeffrey My name is Sue This band sure rocks I like them, too You do? I do-oo-oo-ooh I don't know what I want to say I feel so gay when I try to talk to this girl I kinda like him But he's a little weird He's kinda weird but then again so am I Oooh oooh oooh Oooh oooh Ahh-ah-ah-ahh-ah-ah-ahhhhhh (J. tentatively reaches for S.'s hand, they hold hands, they kiss, he does some sort of "Awwwlright!" gesture) I'm so stoked I came To the concert This sweet chick really rocks What a surprise At this concert This cute boy actually talks Maybe I'll lure him Back to my car And maybe I'll touch his cock Oooh! ©2006 Satan's Loins Satan's Loins lyrics
Invocation
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By Satan's Loins Oh girl, have you ever noticed me? Do you know anything about me? I want you to I want you to Benediction By Satan's Loins Oh girl, you can't help but notice me Cuz I'm dressed so very nattily I hope you do I hope you do ©2006 Satan's Loins long awaited II
Up until now, my languid posting of Satan's Loins lyrics has been in the order that the songs will appear on the album. Except I've now written a little introductory snippet that goes before "I Like to Party." So here's the new order:
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1. Invocation 2. I Like to Party 3. Captured at Axe-Point 4. The Quest 5. Intermission 6. We Got the Booty, Will I Get the Booty? 7. Benediction 8. At the Concert Subject to change, natch. Satan's Loins lyrics
We Got the Booty, Will I Get the Booty?
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By Satan's Loins It is impossible to convey just how I felt But it was nice We killed the Dragon King and took all of his loot That's quite the prize Oooh oooh oooh Oooh oooh oooh It is impossible to convey just how I feel But it is nice Dressed in bling bling from my head down to my toes I look so fly Oooh oooh oooh Oooh oooh oooh We got the booty We snatched the prize (x 4) Will I get the booty Will I snatch the prize? ©2006 Satan's Loins Satan's Loins lyrics
Intermission
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By Satan's Loins Now, an intermission, featuring some dancing girls! Bup pup pa da Bup pup pa da Bup pup pa da Daaaa Bup pup pa da Bup pup pa da Lalalalalala laaaa And now, back to our rock opera ©2006 Satan's Loins abrasive, untitled song
Okay, let's hear some guitar
Now let's hear some more guitar, sure And now let's hear some cowboys Moaning about unrequited cow love I love cows I love cows I love cows I love cows Will someone in this room please Fuck one of these cowboys? I've got an application form here Says you must have lips obese with collagen Oh collagen I want to kiss collagen Gnaw on those pillowy lips Squirt some on my chin Please make sure that you apply properly Or I might have to audit your ass All the while humming some new wave tune About naked accountants committing arson An unpleasant tune from my back catalogue My fans cursed me out for that one, understandably I love cows I love cows I love cows I love cows Will someone please get those Fucking cowboys out of here? I'm finding it hard to concentrate So I want to kill them, maybe I'll kill them Oh kill them I want to kill them Punch them squarely in the neck Steel toe to the shins I love cows I love cows I love cows I love cows Fucking cowboys! You're not so cool You don't have a Visa card, like I do Dah dah dah dah... Okay, end the fucking song Why did I invite those cowboys to the session (0) comments
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